its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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