he told me I talked like a deaf person
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
