Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
