Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
