i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
