They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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