After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize