Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
