i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize