My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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