Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
