HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
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im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
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I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
jump out the window naked night went bad
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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