Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
