How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
