I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
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