I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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