Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
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