The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
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i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
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I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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