I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Just pee around me
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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