I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
After tacos, we're chasing women.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
