Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
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