i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
