jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
