When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
