i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
