come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
