i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
