I smell stomach acid.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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