does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It's shark week go big or go home
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize