She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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