I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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