My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
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