who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
