so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
