kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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