we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
