"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
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