Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
false alarm. still invincible.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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