For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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