i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just leave with hair like that
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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