Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Just puked most of my soul out..
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
