the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
