"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
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when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
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Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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