In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
