The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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