Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
