Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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