When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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