The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
