I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
