There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
