on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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