Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize