I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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