HIV tests are more positive than that guy
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize