sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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